Trust is one of the most important elements of any good relationship, but if it has been damaged in any way, perhaps due to an affair or lies that have been discovered, that relationship can be irreparably damaged. For some, when the trust is gone, the relationship is over, and it is as simple as that.
Others, however, will want to try to rebuild that trust once more. This can be difficult to do, as there will always be question marks hanging over anything their partner says or does, at least at the start. If you are the one who needs to work hard to rebuild trust because you want a relationship to work, here are some ways you can start.
Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Trust can be destroyed in an instant. If you are found to be having (or to have had) a sexual relationship with someone else, if you have lied about your past, if you have served time in prison for possession with intent to supply class A drugs or another serious offense, if you have an addiction like drink or gambling, once your partner discovers the truth they will find it hard to trust you in the future.
One way to help rebuild trust is to always say what you mean and mean what you say. The more you can do this, the more the person you are interacting with will be able to trust you; they will see that you are following through on your promises and no longer lying. It will be hard, but it’s a good basis for fixing a broken relationship.
Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable
If you can allow yourself to be vulnerable within your relationship, if you can open yourself up to your partner even if it is going to hurt, then the trust will start to rebuild. They will see that you are willing to tell them everything and really let them into your life, and this is a massive step forward, especially if you have been secretive in the past.
This might mean allowing them to see parts of your life that you usually keep hidden, and only you will know whether you are able to be honest about absolutely everything. The more you can say and admit to, however, the easier it will be to move forward from that moment on.
You might be embarrassed because something that you have done has been found out and you wish it had never happened. Now, though, the secret is out and it is damaging your relationship. At this point, if you want to rebuild trust, you need to remember to respect your partner. They may need space, they may need time. They may be angry or hurt or disappointed. They may not wish to carry on with plans you have made together, such as a wedding or a vacation.
Whatever they say or feel, you need to respect that. If they want you to step away for a while, then you should do it. The more you push them to listen, the less they will want you to speak. Wait until they are ready and respect what they are going through. Once they are in a better place then you can talk and work out the next steps together.