Tips to deal with the ex-partner factor while starting a new relationship

Have you ever considered being friends with your ex? It is a grey area for a lot of people. This is because they have not identified their true feelings and intentions. Almost all modern relationships start with history. Some of them have a long one, while some of them have a short one. Although, the relationship past exists and it is even complicated sometimes. 

A lot of couples who just got into a relationship find it hard to start discussing their ex-relationships. However, if you are still in contact with your ex, then it is a good idea to maintain some rules. 

Understand how much to talk

When you are getting into a new relationship, limit the ex-talk. If you find yourself wanting to talk about your ex continuously, then evaluate your feelings. Are you missing them? Or, you want to make your new partner jealous? Well, if that is the case, then you should stop immediately. 

You should immediately work on yourself if you have such feelings. These feelings are not negative but, they clearly indicate that you are not completely ready to be in a new relationship. You should not start a new relationship, while you are not over your ex or are trying to play games to just mask your insecurities. Such things will only lead to a bad relationship. Instead, taking some time off and working on your self-esteem will help you on a lot of levels.  You might like to try to find a honest partner for you at a later stage of life when you are ready.

2. Have a perspective

After a relationship ends, people tend to forget about the toxic habits of their ex. This normally happens when you start missing your ex. You forget how incompatible you two were. At the same time, it is natural to compare your new partner with your ex. A lot of people get stuck on the idea of how great their ex was. Some people also compare all the good memories of their past relationship with the new one.

If you are doing that, then your new relationship can never work. Two people cannot be the same and thus, you will have to accept that and move on. This is because you will not be able to accept your new partner completely and you might start having unfair expectations from them. This can hinder your relationship even more if your ex is still friends with you. This will affect you subconsciously and thus, if you catch yourself doing that, you should probably stop talking to your ex.

3. Be reasonable

If you want to be friends with your ex, then be fair with your new partner. Explain to them the intensity of your relationship and give them the space to react. You need to understand that how will you feel if your new partner is still friends with their ex. Do not be very defensive about the situation. Understand and reach on a compromise, where it is a comfortable situation for all of you. If your new partner does not like your ex, then make sure to not make plans with the both of them together. 

4. Keep clear boundaries

You cannot have a physical relationship with your ex while starting a new relationship. Most millennials do this and complicate things for themselves. It just shows that you are not ready or serious about your new relationship. Such things will not stay hidden for long and you will invite problems for yourself. If you are having a “friends with benefits” relationship with your ex, then keep the boundaries extremely clear. Many hookup confessions suggest that keeping two relations at the same time causes big-time issues, so you might like to avoid it. At the same time, stop seeing your ex, if you are planning on dating someone else.